I have struggled with bouts of depression for as long as I can remember. College was the worst, but since then, I haven’t been through the struggles for as long periods of time or as often.
One has crept up on me now, though. Other writers have described depression far better than I have, so there’s nothing to add. A bit of apathy, a bit of sorrow, an unknowingness of what to do. I have tried to push past it with busy-ness, which has worked in the past… extra walks with the dog, extra acceptances of dinners out with friends and family, extra writing projects. I can’t tell if it’s changing anything now. The part I dislike most, though, is that depression is a lonely disorder. I can’t really talk to people about it, because the most common reaction is to want to fix it, and it really isn’t something to “cure.” It will just fade away eventually, to return another day. And how does one properly answer “How are you?” Well, “I’m depressed and I don’t know why and there’s nothing you can really do for me…” :/
So that’s what’s happening now. One of my “drown myself in busy-ness” projects is a fun one, though. The final book in the “Lunar Chronicles” by Marissa Meyer comes out in a few weeks, and the publisher is currently running a contest for it: write a short story featuring another fairy tale character who hasn’t already been incorporated into the series, and possibly win a trip up to the “Winter” release party. I’m using Beauty and the Beast, even though that might be too cliched… I like the story I’ve created for it, but am still not sure what to call her. She’s “Beauty” in the original tales and “Belle” only in the Disney-fied version, but they mean the same thing, and “Beauty” would be a weird name in the Lunarverse… but I’m sure I’ll figure something out.
Anyway, in the great words of Allie Brosh & her Hyperbole And a Half version of depression reflections: